Monday, June 17, 2013
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Making my Way to the New
Its been some time since I actually sat to post, and I feel out of touch for a moment. I then remember I just posted news on my business blog, The Vermont Gypsy Wagon, to let everyone know that I am coming back into business practice again. I had a challenge that I needed to face these passed two weeks for me to truly see why I'm doing this, what drives me to create, and what is my soul purpose with being my own boss. I've had to learn to let go, calm myself to a moment of being able to truly listen to what is in my heart, and now making the steps to move forward with my venture-my life. I have other blog pages aside from this one, which is the mother, and my business page. I have one to post my creative nature, one I started to send the message about stay-at-home moms (which is now going to become my son's journey about life with Autism), and a new page that can be referred to as a go-to for tips, ideas, etc....my writer's vacation has come to an end and its time to get back to work. The best way to do that? Write what I know. Here's looking at you, kid! ~Mom
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Heralding a Frost for Tonight
We are surely in the midst of Autumn. The weather forecast for overnight is talking a frost, the first official for the season-? I feel as though I'm starting to settle into the next two and a half months before the Winter Solstice, once again picking up the gauntlett of organizing and facing the welcome challenges of change. I feel the urgency of my summer nature to run and play, yet also feel the indulgence of hibernation trying to set in. How does this Momma Bear hibernate with the high energy cubs running underfoot? Perhaps it more about the shift from one season of activities to the next season and what it has to offer for activities.
The online classes I've started taking are starting to settle in for me; I worked on notes and reading last night for my Autism 101 class, along with picking up what I needed to get started with Behavior Management 101 class. The third class I've signed up for is about Special Education; these three classes work together, feeding information for me in the months to come. I have six months to complete these courses but I don't foresee it taking that long to do so. Thursdays are set aside to turn in class assignments, take quizzes, and take a small break before starting the next lesson in the plan. So far, I'm liking what I'm doing.
Yes, if you've guessed by now, I'm into another schedule of sorts to make things work here on the homestead. Appointments, errands, seasonal changes and temporary completion of gardening, along with trying to move into the list of things I want to tackle; I've learned to make a short list and a long list of things to focus on. What I like about doing things this way? My short list is about immediate and high priority goals. My long list is about long term goals. After making the decision to truly examine my life, my goals, etc....it made sense to do so. I'm in my second week of working with this new concept (its new to me), and so far, so good.
Another rainy day, another day to clean a little deeper. I'm waiting for the sunshine so I can take my boys to the park, let them run around and tire out; maybe I need to run around to tire out. But my mom gene will kick on, and I'll be running on auto-pilot. Oh boy....
So, as we move deeper into Autumn, and we transition from the high level energy run of enjoying the good weather and into the moments of contemplation and reflection, do we fall off the tree like the leaves? I'd like to think I drop my summer green to embrace the red and gold of my inquisitive nature. I'm embracing the meaning of letting go and loosen my grip of control on matters that are out of my hands. Perhaps I'm learning something of value for another time yet to come. My life plans are in front of me but its by Divine Design. Buddha said to go with the flow of the river instead of fighting the current-not quite the exact words but its what I remember from the days of walking the grounds of the Temple area in the town where I grew up and my grandparents live. Grafton Peace Pagoda....a place of contemplation and reflection. Have a great day and a splendid week before we meet again to chat. ~Momma
The online classes I've started taking are starting to settle in for me; I worked on notes and reading last night for my Autism 101 class, along with picking up what I needed to get started with Behavior Management 101 class. The third class I've signed up for is about Special Education; these three classes work together, feeding information for me in the months to come. I have six months to complete these courses but I don't foresee it taking that long to do so. Thursdays are set aside to turn in class assignments, take quizzes, and take a small break before starting the next lesson in the plan. So far, I'm liking what I'm doing.
Yes, if you've guessed by now, I'm into another schedule of sorts to make things work here on the homestead. Appointments, errands, seasonal changes and temporary completion of gardening, along with trying to move into the list of things I want to tackle; I've learned to make a short list and a long list of things to focus on. What I like about doing things this way? My short list is about immediate and high priority goals. My long list is about long term goals. After making the decision to truly examine my life, my goals, etc....it made sense to do so. I'm in my second week of working with this new concept (its new to me), and so far, so good.
Another rainy day, another day to clean a little deeper. I'm waiting for the sunshine so I can take my boys to the park, let them run around and tire out; maybe I need to run around to tire out. But my mom gene will kick on, and I'll be running on auto-pilot. Oh boy....
So, as we move deeper into Autumn, and we transition from the high level energy run of enjoying the good weather and into the moments of contemplation and reflection, do we fall off the tree like the leaves? I'd like to think I drop my summer green to embrace the red and gold of my inquisitive nature. I'm embracing the meaning of letting go and loosen my grip of control on matters that are out of my hands. Perhaps I'm learning something of value for another time yet to come. My life plans are in front of me but its by Divine Design. Buddha said to go with the flow of the river instead of fighting the current-not quite the exact words but its what I remember from the days of walking the grounds of the Temple area in the town where I grew up and my grandparents live. Grafton Peace Pagoda....a place of contemplation and reflection. Have a great day and a splendid week before we meet again to chat. ~Momma
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Reclaiming Myself
I heard this yesterday when I attended my first MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting as a mother (I was a guest the first time I went to a meeting years ago). Yes, I've joined MOPS, in search of myself, possible new friends, and hopefully new friends and great experiences for my boys.
My radar was on as I left my boys with other children their ages; Tristan in one room, Zachary in another. I was anxious to leave them, wondering how they were doing. My anxiety played music on my bladder, which sent me to the ladies' room more than once. Not a bad thing, as the restrooms were within stone's throw of the playrooms. I poked my head in on each one, making sure things were going well. Tristan was more interested in exploring until he got into the room where the kids were a year younger, and with the buzz and tons more toys, he settled in better. Until he becomes more acquainted with going to our new twice-a-month adventure, he'll be with the younger group, which is fine with me for now. Zachary attached himself to a caregiver who was wonderful with him. Towards the end of the the two hours we were there, both my guys unraveled a bit, and I knowing that it was pushing towards lunch time and possible naps, readied myself with the other moms to reclaim our children and go home.
With my boys' adventure into this new territory, I myself had found-even with being in tune with my boys-a place to connect with new people. I don't remember everyone in my group (there are quite a few moms who come to this group and we are divided into groups for discussion after a speaker makes a presentation) but I do remember actually feeling like being a part of a group of women, something I've not felt in quite some time. I had this feeling when I was in my undergrad program, which sometimes feels like another lifetime ago. My college friends have gone their way, keeping in touch via the cyber world. Yet, even as I make my way through the realm of "mom of small children," I have felt alone for most of my walk at this point in sharing in today's post. I've met other moms, even a couple of dads who stay home, having the playgroup time to actually talk to another adult. Yet, when group has come to a close for that day, we all go our separate ways, not connecting outside of the group time. Its not to say that it doesn't happen, as I've heard stories of some parents connecting with each other away from group. I feel disconnected. I have kept in touch with one mom until recently, of whom I still hear bits and pieces of what she's doing now that she's the mother of two boys, just like me. That's when the light came on. Go out into the world to find others like you who are looking to connect with another adult; don't sit and wait for someone to come looking for you.
So, as I sat and listened to others answer questions about themselves, which was something we all participated in, I realized that I'm not alone. I don't have to do it all and especially trying to do it all and not connect with another mom who's like me, feeling like she's got to do it all. One of the questions I didn't get a chance to answer was what are my passions, and if I had all the time in the world, what would I do with it? Well, here's my answer. My passions lie in the world of the creative. I am an artisan by nature, genes, and family history. To name a few, I sew, knit, cook, and write; the list is never ending, as I've learned to feed my creative nature. If I had all the time in the world, I would most likely do exactly what I'm doing now: give 100% to each of my children, and as I would also have more energy, make time for myself to work on my creative outlets. Best of all, I would continue to be thankful for every precious moment I am presented with each and every day.
Yes, I now realize what is happening for me in the most recent events of 2011. I am in search of reclaiming myself. Can I do it all? Perhaps I can but I have to realize and give in to the fact that I can't do it all at once and to strive for perfection is an illusion. Its about being present, making each and every moment count. There are going to be days where things are not going to get done, go well, and the feeling of being overwhelmed will rest heavy on my shoulders. But I'm not alone. And I don't have to kill myself to reach for the ring of success. Being a mother, an urban homestead manager, and every other hat that I wear, these are not jobs. They are roles in my life as a multi-tasking woman. My life's puzzle pieces are coming into shape, manifesting into what is to become in time. ~Momma
My radar was on as I left my boys with other children their ages; Tristan in one room, Zachary in another. I was anxious to leave them, wondering how they were doing. My anxiety played music on my bladder, which sent me to the ladies' room more than once. Not a bad thing, as the restrooms were within stone's throw of the playrooms. I poked my head in on each one, making sure things were going well. Tristan was more interested in exploring until he got into the room where the kids were a year younger, and with the buzz and tons more toys, he settled in better. Until he becomes more acquainted with going to our new twice-a-month adventure, he'll be with the younger group, which is fine with me for now. Zachary attached himself to a caregiver who was wonderful with him. Towards the end of the the two hours we were there, both my guys unraveled a bit, and I knowing that it was pushing towards lunch time and possible naps, readied myself with the other moms to reclaim our children and go home.
With my boys' adventure into this new territory, I myself had found-even with being in tune with my boys-a place to connect with new people. I don't remember everyone in my group (there are quite a few moms who come to this group and we are divided into groups for discussion after a speaker makes a presentation) but I do remember actually feeling like being a part of a group of women, something I've not felt in quite some time. I had this feeling when I was in my undergrad program, which sometimes feels like another lifetime ago. My college friends have gone their way, keeping in touch via the cyber world. Yet, even as I make my way through the realm of "mom of small children," I have felt alone for most of my walk at this point in sharing in today's post. I've met other moms, even a couple of dads who stay home, having the playgroup time to actually talk to another adult. Yet, when group has come to a close for that day, we all go our separate ways, not connecting outside of the group time. Its not to say that it doesn't happen, as I've heard stories of some parents connecting with each other away from group. I feel disconnected. I have kept in touch with one mom until recently, of whom I still hear bits and pieces of what she's doing now that she's the mother of two boys, just like me. That's when the light came on. Go out into the world to find others like you who are looking to connect with another adult; don't sit and wait for someone to come looking for you.
So, as I sat and listened to others answer questions about themselves, which was something we all participated in, I realized that I'm not alone. I don't have to do it all and especially trying to do it all and not connect with another mom who's like me, feeling like she's got to do it all. One of the questions I didn't get a chance to answer was what are my passions, and if I had all the time in the world, what would I do with it? Well, here's my answer. My passions lie in the world of the creative. I am an artisan by nature, genes, and family history. To name a few, I sew, knit, cook, and write; the list is never ending, as I've learned to feed my creative nature. If I had all the time in the world, I would most likely do exactly what I'm doing now: give 100% to each of my children, and as I would also have more energy, make time for myself to work on my creative outlets. Best of all, I would continue to be thankful for every precious moment I am presented with each and every day.
Yes, I now realize what is happening for me in the most recent events of 2011. I am in search of reclaiming myself. Can I do it all? Perhaps I can but I have to realize and give in to the fact that I can't do it all at once and to strive for perfection is an illusion. Its about being present, making each and every moment count. There are going to be days where things are not going to get done, go well, and the feeling of being overwhelmed will rest heavy on my shoulders. But I'm not alone. And I don't have to kill myself to reach for the ring of success. Being a mother, an urban homestead manager, and every other hat that I wear, these are not jobs. They are roles in my life as a multi-tasking woman. My life's puzzle pieces are coming into shape, manifesting into what is to become in time. ~Momma
Monday, September 26, 2011
Stop, Breathe, Refocus
September is almost over; we are now in the final week of this season-changing month. Lots of things change in September, or so it seems, other than the season and its weather patterns. Its a time for reflection, remembering, preparing. Today, I resign myself to doing just that.
Over the weekend, a friend and somewhat of a co-worker passed away. I've not seen this person in over five years. I had received a friends request from his wife awhile back on FB, and only accepted that request about a couple of weeks ago. Did I wait too long? Perhaps I could have answered earlier. I could sit here and beat myself up while writing this post, but I also know that with my train of thought, nothing happens by chance. I responded when I was supposed to. I'm not one focused on luck, chance, or coincidence. I've always believed there is purpose and reason why things happen in the time that they do.
Over that last couple of weeks, I've been tired. Zachary is teething, which I think is starting to calm down a little bit. Thankfully. Nights have been patchy with sleep, soothing a little one to sleep for himself, let alone try to catch a few winks for myself. That tired feeling has followed me throughout some of my days, and there's a list of things for me to tackle to catch up with. It feels almost like most days are catch up days lately.
We have been handed a diagnosis of Autism for Tristan. Paperwork, appointments, and phone calls have commenced over the last couple of weeks. He will be attending preschool as soon as we have everything in place that he needs; this should be in the next couple of weeks, provided I keep pushing for what he needs. I will continue to homeschool, as a supplement. I will say no more today for this piece of information; it would encompass a post in itself.
Today is my day to do what is needed, making the most of the time set aside for fun with my boys, and to go with the flow. Time to empty my churning mind and be ok with non-perfection. With that said, I will sign off early to move ahead with my day to spend more time with my children. So, remember, take time to stop, breathe, and refocus. Be ok with taking a moment to feel the warmth of the sun on your face, smell the scents of the season, listen to the laughter of small children, and embrace life for every moment it presents. ~Momma
Over the weekend, a friend and somewhat of a co-worker passed away. I've not seen this person in over five years. I had received a friends request from his wife awhile back on FB, and only accepted that request about a couple of weeks ago. Did I wait too long? Perhaps I could have answered earlier. I could sit here and beat myself up while writing this post, but I also know that with my train of thought, nothing happens by chance. I responded when I was supposed to. I'm not one focused on luck, chance, or coincidence. I've always believed there is purpose and reason why things happen in the time that they do.
Over that last couple of weeks, I've been tired. Zachary is teething, which I think is starting to calm down a little bit. Thankfully. Nights have been patchy with sleep, soothing a little one to sleep for himself, let alone try to catch a few winks for myself. That tired feeling has followed me throughout some of my days, and there's a list of things for me to tackle to catch up with. It feels almost like most days are catch up days lately.
We have been handed a diagnosis of Autism for Tristan. Paperwork, appointments, and phone calls have commenced over the last couple of weeks. He will be attending preschool as soon as we have everything in place that he needs; this should be in the next couple of weeks, provided I keep pushing for what he needs. I will continue to homeschool, as a supplement. I will say no more today for this piece of information; it would encompass a post in itself.
Today is my day to do what is needed, making the most of the time set aside for fun with my boys, and to go with the flow. Time to empty my churning mind and be ok with non-perfection. With that said, I will sign off early to move ahead with my day to spend more time with my children. So, remember, take time to stop, breathe, and refocus. Be ok with taking a moment to feel the warmth of the sun on your face, smell the scents of the season, listen to the laughter of small children, and embrace life for every moment it presents. ~Momma
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Book Review on a Thursday
Finally, some sunshine. Maybe short lived today, though. We'll see. The weather seems to be only about 50% perdictable. Mother Nature has a mind of her own, we shouldn't forget that.
I finally finished my first leisure book since starting my spiritual inspiration reading. The French Gardener by Santa Montefiore, an excellent read. English gardens are the backdrop to a story that weaves the lives of the past with the present, laced with infidelity, romance, family, and life realities. Two families, with a parent who's gone most of the time for work purposes. The family of the past, the children are center piece; the family of the present, the children are taken care of by nannies while mom and pop strive for their own individual goals. The yarn that pulls these two families together? The gardener. A French man born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he comes to the first family to learn the craft of gardening. Seasons change, he and the wife commence with an adulterous affair. He leaves before the year is over, upon discovery by his parents of what is happening during his stay at the English estate. Almost 30 years pass before he returns to the estate; he's returned for his love. Instead, he finds a family in need of love. Children starved for the attention of their parents as opposed to the endless stream of gifts to keep them happy. A scrapbook of his first stay at the estate establishes the ebb and flow of the chapters between the past and the present. In the end, although he has lost his love (she died two years prior to his return to the English estate), he has gained the love child he never knew about. The family of the present? After months of establishing themselves in the estate, an affair discovered and time apart, they come together to let go of the past, forgive and start over. The parents discover there is no greater love than that of your children, that when you begin a family, your endeavors and personal goals step aside for the priceless moments presented through your children's presence. They are not novelties, they are the most important part of your life as their parent.
As I read the last page, it made me think of how important my children are to me. I love my boys very much. I would do anything for them, whatever it takes to make sure they have what they really need in life. Love, security, and the knowledge that my attention is far more important than any gadget or "new" toy out there on the market. I love the fact my guys love to be outside, love to run and play, love to read. Yes, they like their toys, and do play with them. But what seems to have a higher importance to them is when I sit with them to read a book, or just snuggle together and I talk to them about different things in life. I'm glad I'm older and a parent; this is my time to be "Mommy." Yes, I still have goals, dreams, and ambitions. Yet, those are second to what is my top priority: Tristan and Zachary.
Today, I go ahead with the openness of just going with the flow. If the weather holds out, we'll be at the park. If not, we'll stick close to home. Maybe we'll just go with the ebb and flow of the tides of the day and see what happens. The schedule is there, but its ok to be flexible. I started early here today, so I finish early here today. Best wishes for a great Thursday! ~Momma
I finally finished my first leisure book since starting my spiritual inspiration reading. The French Gardener by Santa Montefiore, an excellent read. English gardens are the backdrop to a story that weaves the lives of the past with the present, laced with infidelity, romance, family, and life realities. Two families, with a parent who's gone most of the time for work purposes. The family of the past, the children are center piece; the family of the present, the children are taken care of by nannies while mom and pop strive for their own individual goals. The yarn that pulls these two families together? The gardener. A French man born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he comes to the first family to learn the craft of gardening. Seasons change, he and the wife commence with an adulterous affair. He leaves before the year is over, upon discovery by his parents of what is happening during his stay at the English estate. Almost 30 years pass before he returns to the estate; he's returned for his love. Instead, he finds a family in need of love. Children starved for the attention of their parents as opposed to the endless stream of gifts to keep them happy. A scrapbook of his first stay at the estate establishes the ebb and flow of the chapters between the past and the present. In the end, although he has lost his love (she died two years prior to his return to the English estate), he has gained the love child he never knew about. The family of the present? After months of establishing themselves in the estate, an affair discovered and time apart, they come together to let go of the past, forgive and start over. The parents discover there is no greater love than that of your children, that when you begin a family, your endeavors and personal goals step aside for the priceless moments presented through your children's presence. They are not novelties, they are the most important part of your life as their parent.
As I read the last page, it made me think of how important my children are to me. I love my boys very much. I would do anything for them, whatever it takes to make sure they have what they really need in life. Love, security, and the knowledge that my attention is far more important than any gadget or "new" toy out there on the market. I love the fact my guys love to be outside, love to run and play, love to read. Yes, they like their toys, and do play with them. But what seems to have a higher importance to them is when I sit with them to read a book, or just snuggle together and I talk to them about different things in life. I'm glad I'm older and a parent; this is my time to be "Mommy." Yes, I still have goals, dreams, and ambitions. Yet, those are second to what is my top priority: Tristan and Zachary.
Today, I go ahead with the openness of just going with the flow. If the weather holds out, we'll be at the park. If not, we'll stick close to home. Maybe we'll just go with the ebb and flow of the tides of the day and see what happens. The schedule is there, but its ok to be flexible. I started early here today, so I finish early here today. Best wishes for a great Thursday! ~Momma
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
The Day After a Good Rant
Another morning of overcast, drizzle, and cool temps. Supposed to warm up and burn off with sunshine sometime today, which will be a blessing when it gets here.
Yesterday, I had a moment to rant. I believe, and I'm sure there are others who would feel the same, I had reason to do so. I don't go around ranting about politics and/or religion but when I see something that doesn't look or sound right, I speak up. I start out with scanning the irratation, roll my eyes up at it, ignore it, delete it, and then it just gets settled under my skin like a tick. That's when I have to voice and clear my mind. Now that I've done so, its cleared my mind to refocus where I need to be. Appointments, errands, emails, phone calls, etc....to have to tackle, aside from the daily tasks of housekeeping, homeschooling, and trying to make time for the list of "not a top priority" things to take on. The day in the life of the typical yet not typical SAHM (stay-at-home-mom).
I've still a bit of tasks to complete today, an appointment in the afternoon. My nights have been settled with a good book I'm trying to finish reading, aside from thinking about how nice it would be to get into my sewing projects. I'm hell-bent to dive in. I'll get there, I'm sure of it.
The bell is going off to move to the next level of my day, which encompasses a shower, getting the boys dressed for the day, school stuff with Tristan, and hopefully a nap for Zach. A semi-deep clean of the living room, and hopefully something fun for the boys to do today. Starting dinner around 2 pm, letting that cook while focused on whatever it is I need to at that time. So, ladies, as we move along with the day, remember to stay flexible. Last minute changes won't seem so heavy while carrying today's load. ~Momma
Yesterday, I had a moment to rant. I believe, and I'm sure there are others who would feel the same, I had reason to do so. I don't go around ranting about politics and/or religion but when I see something that doesn't look or sound right, I speak up. I start out with scanning the irratation, roll my eyes up at it, ignore it, delete it, and then it just gets settled under my skin like a tick. That's when I have to voice and clear my mind. Now that I've done so, its cleared my mind to refocus where I need to be. Appointments, errands, emails, phone calls, etc....to have to tackle, aside from the daily tasks of housekeeping, homeschooling, and trying to make time for the list of "not a top priority" things to take on. The day in the life of the typical yet not typical SAHM (stay-at-home-mom).
I've still a bit of tasks to complete today, an appointment in the afternoon. My nights have been settled with a good book I'm trying to finish reading, aside from thinking about how nice it would be to get into my sewing projects. I'm hell-bent to dive in. I'll get there, I'm sure of it.
The bell is going off to move to the next level of my day, which encompasses a shower, getting the boys dressed for the day, school stuff with Tristan, and hopefully a nap for Zach. A semi-deep clean of the living room, and hopefully something fun for the boys to do today. Starting dinner around 2 pm, letting that cook while focused on whatever it is I need to at that time. So, ladies, as we move along with the day, remember to stay flexible. Last minute changes won't seem so heavy while carrying today's load. ~Momma
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