Tuesday's weather seems uncertain but with the hope and the promise of a new day for us, I take it in stride and know that we'll find something fun and rewarding to venture into today. My boys are now both awake, taking on breakfast and a cartoon. I have my time to throw words on paper-words on screen, that is.
Tuesdays are typically my Task Master talks, focusing on my latest venture of organizing through purging, sorting, etc...Today my mind is on the books I've been reading recently and the completion of two of those in question. Kitchen Table Wisdom, which I gave my views of through two posts, and Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner. The second title, one I embarked on through an online study, was also a good and quite moving piece for me to read for the last ten weeks. It also came at a time in my life when I needed it the most. Opening doors to the past, blowing the dust off memories and issues. Learning to look at those things in a new way, facing my fears of how to deal with them as well. I feel myself changing, a needed change for me as a woman, a mother, and of the many, many hats I've come to wear. I have felt at my lowest during my reading, and now with the final page highlighted, I feel I can move on into the light of tomorrow.
Hidden Joy was written and shared by the author and a part of her life's history that had marked her every step for 20 years. She was raped. When a woman is violated in such a way, it takes away so much of her life. Fear colors every dark corner, making it impossible to feel like a functional part of the world. I do not share in Wendy's feelings of violation, at least not exactly what happened to her. But I do know what it feels like to feel paralyzed by a trauma that renders you almost to the point of useless. I know what its like to feel like no one understands what you feel, think, etc...And now, I know what it feels like to finally feel the warmth of change on my face. I'm understanding that I'm not alone, and that I don't have to feel helpless anymore. I have a life, one filled with promise.
I'm now finishing the Woman's Meditation book. Good so far. Enlightening as I turn each page. A good way to get back into my yoga practice, to share that with my boys. A way to give time to and for myself, to share priceless time with my boys. Self care is so important today. With all the demands made on women, let alone women and men, it makes me see why most people run around on auto pilot. We're all in such a big hurry to get to the next thing, we miss what's in front of us. We get to tomorrow, ahead of schedule, and then express impatience at having to wait for Nature & Divinity to show up at the pre-planned time. Or we arrive late, and complain the whole time at what we're sure we missed, thus missing what we were destined to discover. Satisfaction is hard to find, or is it?
So there you have it. My morning thoughts. Food for thought for the day. What motivates you? What satisfies you? Are you in a hurry for what hasn't happened yet? Are you missing the big picture, or the little priceless moments you'll never have again? What legacy are you working on to leave behind for future generations? Lesson for today. Take 90 seconds-time it if you feel the need-to take a genuine deep breath (don't forget to exhale). Note how you feel. Write it on paper, type it on your smart phone. In a week, go back to it. Repeat. Love. ~Momma
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